Monday, August 13, 2012

I've Been Thinking but Not Writing

In the past few months, I have reviewed and meditated on my life and people in it. Coming to and accepting I am an Aspie was revelatory, relaxing and ... Thinking of accomplishments, failures, successes, disappointments, methods of dealing with people and the reason some of those people acted as they did is ... The appropriate words are beyond me at this time.

Approximately 48 years of rationale, choices and decisions made with distorted glasses. God was present and working with me from my beginning and I misunderstood him also. Grief is a strong emotion. Grief after the death of a person or pet or realization of lost time and opportunities. Grief feels like a mastodon mother watching over her calf (me) in a most suffocating manner.

I, for one, have never known how to handle grief and would press on with work or whatever endeavour was in place. After several experiences, a person begins to pick up on the side effects of  grief and slow down to let it have it's place. If not, then just like an excited child waiting and waiting to tell some great thing, it WILL have it's time, ready or not.

Blogs by Autistic/Asperger adults are poignant and, for me, easy to relate too. Our pasts are unchangeable and although physically gone, they remain current in memory and emotions; but our futures await us with endless potential for growth and positive expansion. God is always present and prepared to guide us to wonderful new adventures and opportunities to help other's do the same.

I am ready to move forward and help Connye paint the interior of our house and replace the flooring. Now, about the colors of those rooms...

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