Monday, June 11, 2012

Stand Back and Watch!

We had new windows installed recently and we were home for the event. It is so much quieter in our house. When cars drive by or people walk by, there is no sound, like watching TV with audio turned off. Of course, people and birds are not that noisy when walking or flying anyway. Goliath's family moved some time ago, Animal Control picked up the Dryptosaurus and the Microraptors left once the ditch dried.

Friday all doors and windows had been opening and closing, so various micro things were entering. Saturday, I finished my blog, published it and the three of us rested. Sunday afternoon, Connye exclaims there is a roach in the bath room. Now Connye is the epitome of a lady and, as such, eloquently gets a broom and returns to the scene. I accompanied because that's what we do when summoned.

Connye's Defense
I  thought a suitcase was hanging on the wall and quickly gave suggestions for destruction (a pump 20 gauge with 00 buckshot). My suggestion was promptly denied with that look and I responded, "Go for it". Now imagine, with me, a feminine Ninja in full attack mode; got it, okay, now to the action.

The roach is on the receiving end of the broom and I am in back of her and the broom, attempting to direct blows to the beast and dodge blows to my face. The beast lands in the bathtub, so I turn on the water to flush it. HOW do you flush something larger than the drain pipe? A few more stabs and bashes render the offender immobile.

My suggestion to throw it outside was agreed to by her handing me the broom, with the now tranquil creature entangled in the straw. Either the thing was dead or was praying for death, because it did not move as I carried it outside and dispatched it.

Connye glided into another room reveling quietly in her glory while accomplishing other tasks. I was thankful I lived with no injuries but still confounded how it all happened in less than five minutes. I have pressed my desire to have multiple weapons in our house for protection. 

Such as:
Tokens of protection I look to.

This is what God wants me to depend on:
Gen 32:1  And Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him. And Jacob said when he saw them, This is God's host: and he called the name of that place Mahanaim.
Exo 14:19  And the angel of God, who went before the camp of Israel, removed and went behind them; and the pillar of cloud removed from before them, and stood behind them:
Exo 23:20  Behold, I send an angel before thee, to keep thee by the way, and to bring thee into the place which I have prepared.
Psa 91:11  For he will give his angels charge over thee, To keep thee in all thy ways.

After the event and consultation with God, I believe Connye could handle a broom more forceful than my choices:
  • Straw to the face: temporarily blinding the intruder.
  • Broom handle to the neck: temporary breathing restriction.
  • Handle end to the sternum: slows down heart to await arrest.
No mess, minimum cleanup and offenders recover. I continue to pray about the recovery thing, and have been for about forty years.

Today, she felt domestic and cooked choco chip cookies, and made raspberry jello. The place will rock tonight.

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